Before the Media Beast Known in these Circles as "O" Comes for Me...

I have a confession to make.

In light of recent events, I know that there will be many more checks and balances for this sort of thing. So, I will head off any bad press at the pass:

I published a web log entry on Wednesday, August 3, 2005 regarding a transcript of a fax received from Hunter S. Thompson, Doctor of Journalism, sent to me from beyond the grave. I did not actually receive the fax, but fabricated its text in its entirety. I do not feel that I have conned anyone, as I stand by the message of perversion and borderline pedophelia one-hundred percent.

I do, however, stand by the authenticity of the fax I received from Charles Bukowski.

I also posted a reply or two on the standby_bert web log, "Chicago's first and foremost source of news, right fucking now (Even sometimes before it happens. Uncanny!)!", in which I referred to Oprah Winfrey as "biggest fake in the history of media".

I regret writing that post, and I have to say now that I am truly sorry.

OK. No I'm not. Fuck Oprah!

Last night, I was finally able to sit down and watch the episode of Oprah mentioned in the standby_bert web log; the one with James Frey; the one that all the news channels are talking about.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, seriously, just Google James Frey or Oprah or A Million Little Pieces, and you'll be up to speed about what I am talking about her. I'm not going at warp speed here. I barely know what I am saying.

So, I watched the show, and as I'd expected, I became infuriated with many, many things. Karen says that it doesn't matter what Oprah says or does, I will be critical. That may be the case. Maybe I sealed my opinion of her a long time ago, but I wonder if I am the only person in America who can see just how much her show revolves around her, and how everything she does, she does to make people talk about her.

This situation with James Frey just pushed me over the edge. Karen actually had to leave the room (O.K., she fell asleep, but she had to "check out" in some way because I was getting ridiculous).

I understand that he fabricated and embellished some of the events and details of his memoir. I agree that he should be called to the carpet for it, and maybe have to answer in front of America. I do agree with that. He wrote an account of his life that he called "truth", and he promoted it as such. He was found to be fraudulent in some of his claims. That's not good.

There are a few things to keep in mind, though. The first is the marketing and promotion. Anyone who is close to the publishing business --not that I am, but I do know a few people who are, and that is how I have fashioned the following opinon-- knows that the memoir is the genre of literature that is being pushed by the publishing companies as of late. Since the mid-nineties, creative non-fiction has been a bigger seller than fiction, when it sells. If memory serves me (and I don't have sources at my fingertips right at this moment), didn't Frey try and publish a similar story to A Million Little Pieces as fiction, but it was turned down? And wasn't it suggested to him that if the same story (because a lot of it was HIS story) was published as a memoir, it would sell a whole hell of a lot more units? This may be me talking out of my ass, but I can swear I read that somewhere. If any one of my four readers knows this not to be true, please let me know. I will edit accordingly.

Oprah Winfrey latched on to this book and added it to her Book Club. She put Frey in the chair opposite her's and interviewed him and talked about how inspiring his story is and everything...

So, this past week, when she had him on and claimed she was "duped" and that she thought all along that the events of this story were just too unbelievable to be true... I wanted to reach into the television and strangle her.

This entry is really about Oprah, I have to admit. All of my issues with her came out in that James Frey interview. It's funny, but I agree that he needs to be grilled, but by Oprah? Oh, man! I am not sure I can condone that. That's just too cruel. That's like having to attend a loyalty workshop run by Judas and Pontius Pilot.

Oprah called into Larry King to defend Frey. I'd love to see how that scene went at the Winfrey/Graham household:

O: Stead! I gotta call in. They're frying my boy!
S: Honey, why don't we see how this plays out. Don't make any rash decisions.
O: Bitch, what I said was rhetorical. If I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you! (dialing the phone.)
S: Yes, dear.

Then she regretted it, and decided to work that shit out on national TV. She can do that. She owns national TV.

So, she put Frey in the chair opposite her's, and grilled him like a fresh salmon, instead of frying him like Larry King attempted to do, like Mary Karr did (and quite effectively. In fact, it should have been left at that.)

A few years ago, before I purchased an IPass, I was pulling into the line at the Aurora tollbooth after a hard day of dealing with precocious adolescents. I misjudged my brakes and bumped the car in front of me. The guy got out, of course. He asked if I was OK. I told him that I was, and I got out and checked for damage to his car. There was no damage. We were both very nice about the whole thing, at first. It was obviously my fault, and I acknowledged that. It was right then that he changed, and began to shout at me, telling me that next time I'd better pay attention to what I was doing, or there's no telling what might happen to me. I say, "OK, dude. Just get back into your car and go. There won't be a next time."

It's a very strange phenomenom that happens to human beings when they are in control of a situation where one person has made a mistake and they have a choice of whether to exploit that mistake or deal with it and then bury it. In my experience, I have seen that very weak and insecure people make the decision to exploit the mistake. Oprah made this weakness into an artform last week.

Her pursuit of Frey was unconscionable. Shetwisted the knife the Smoking Gun had rightly put into Frey's credibility, and ventured into territory that she had no business going into. Her insistance that the "Lilly" suicide had to be confirmed was terrible. This was obviously something that was close to Frey, and he was very obviously upset about talking about this particular detail in particular, but Oprah had to dig in and get him to give the details of how this woman took her own life.

Again, I completely agree that Frey needs to own up to those details he embellished in his memoir, but I don't agree that he needs to have his personal shit ridiculed on national TV. Her mode of questioning about the death of "Lilly" was unprofessional and just plain rude. Plus, she mocked him by sarcastically stressing "Memoir" at every chance she could. I know that I seem to be pulling at straws, but these are the things that stood out about her attack.

She surrounded herself with sycophants to push the fact that she was embarrased. It's funny that Frey made all the mistakes, but that hour of television was ALL about her. How many times did she mention how embarrassed she was? How he made her look bad... It is true, but when she says it, it somehow becomes cheap and insincere.

Maureen Dowd said that Oprah should "kick Frey's bony... non-fiction ass." What the hell does that exactly mean? I have a translation:

I am just so psyched that Oprah asked me to chime in on James, who? Lipton? Frey? Yes. Frey! Just think of all the reads I will get on Monday! Maybe I can finally finish that memoir! It'll be published for sure! Note to self: hire extra fact checkers!

Same goes for Joel Stein. Same exact fucking thing.

And, I liked their writing before this.

Frey looked genuinely remorseful, and maybe that's his M.O. But this is about Oprah, so it doesn't really matter.

I think if anyone lost credibility in my book, it's her. And I am sure that is going to go a long, long way.